Tony. Episodes of a dillusional man. Part 1

So I was walking down the sidewalk(like every american does, well im not sure) and I spotted someone crouched down looking at a crack in the sidewalk.(having a crack of his own for others to look at, which was gross.) So like every other american who isn't doing anything with their lives I went over to see what the heck he was doing. I walked up and tapped him on the shoulder.

"what are you doing?" I asked.

"looking at a crack." he said.

"so is everyone who is passing by so I suggest you pull up your pants." i replied.

He didn't answer me back so I just started walking along the sidewalk again.(why am I walking in the first place?).Anyway I passed by a clothes store which had shirts hanging in the window. All of them were horrible to say the absoulute least. So like every other american i walked in(well at least i read that in cosmopolitan)

and demanded to speak to the manager. soon he(or she, I couldn't tell) came to talk to me. he or she asked me what I wanted.

"Well, Just like any american would i came in to inform you that all your clothes designs are disgusting and you should burn them and send their ashes into the earth's core. I'm sure you hadn't noticed this so I just wanted to point that out." i said matter-of-factly.

The managers unisex face turned bright red.

I was concerned so I offered to help. "I'm not really sure but I think you should keep breathing at all times, sir or madam, it would make your face not red."

It turned purple. I had no Idea why I got thrown out of the store by large men. But before i left I told the manager he should where a tag that clearly specifies his gender, so other people could avoid being uncomfortable.

so then I continue walking down the sidewalk like every other american should.

By the way I live in Lebanon.

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Ok, hope you guys like my little humoroust story, this is the first part and there will be more episodes in which tony will do some wierd things like he did right now.